Finding a partner has become easier than ever thanks to dating apps, social media and life in big cities. Modern technologies have dramatically expanded access to potential romantic and sexual partners, changing how people meet and form relationships.
Psychologists and sex researchers are increasingly interested in whether attitudes toward a partner’s sexual history have changed alongside this new dating landscape. While many societies have become more open about sex, people can still react strongly to a potential partner’s intimate past. Research examining these preferences offers insight into how many previous sexual partners people consider acceptable in a long-term relationship.
How a UK study tested preferences
In 2017, psychologists surveyed 188 adults in the United Kingdom about their willingness to enter a long-term relationship with someone based on that person’s number of previous sexual partners. The hypothetical sexual histories ranged from no previous partners to more than 60.
Participants rated their willingness to pursue a relationship on a nine-point scale. To isolate the influence of sexual history, researchers provided no additional information about the hypothetical partner, such as appearance, personality, income or lifestyle.
This simplified design does not replicate the complexity of real-life partner selection, but it allowed researchers to examine whether sexual history alone influenced participants’ stated willingness to pursue a relationship.
Where people draw the invisible line
The results followed a distinct curve rather than a simple linear pattern. Participants were most willing to pursue long-term relationships with people who had some previous sexual experience, but willingness declined as the number of previous partners became substantially higher.
Openness peaked around two or three previous sexual partners and then gradually declined. For a hypothetical partner with four previous partners, average willingness was around 7 on the nine-point scale. When the number exceeded 60, willingness dropped to around 2.
Men in the study were slightly more willing than women to consider partners with extensive sexual histories, but the difference was relatively small. Overall, both sexes showed a broadly similar pattern in how willingness changed as the number of previous partners increased.
Why a partner’s past may still matter
Researchers have proposed several possible explanations for why sexual history influences partner preferences. Evolutionary perspectives suggest that humans may have developed sensitivities to cues potentially associated with sexual health, fidelity or willingness to maintain a long-term pair bond.
However, social and cultural influences can also shape these judgments. Attitudes toward sexual behavior differ considerably between communities, and beliefs about what constitutes an acceptable sexual history can be learned through family, religion, peers and broader cultural norms.
Changing contraception, healthcare and social attitudes have transformed sexual relationships, but this does not necessarily mean that preferences concerning a partner’s past disappear at the same pace. Individual attitudes may reflect a combination of personal values, cultural expectations and broader psychological tendencies.
What about zero sexual experience?
The study produced another notable finding. Having no previous sexual partners did not make someone the most preferred hypothetical partner. Participants were generally willing to consider a relationship with someone who had no sexual experience, but willingness was somewhat higher for people with a small number of previous partners.
There are several possible interpretations of this pattern, but the study itself cannot establish precisely why participants responded this way. A lack of previous sexual experience could carry different meanings for different people, depending on age, cultural expectations and personal values.
Similarly, some people may value prior relationship or sexual experience, while others may place greater importance on abstinence or waiting for a committed relationship. The findings therefore describe average preferences within the study sample rather than a universal standard.
Numbers are only one part of partner selection
The study has important limitations. Participants evaluated hypothetical partners using a single piece of information, whereas real-life romantic decisions involve many characteristics simultaneously. Personality, attraction, compatibility, shared values and relationship goals can all influence whether someone wants to pursue a partnership.
The sample was also relatively small and drawn from the United Kingdom, limiting how confidently the findings can be generalized to other populations or cultures.
Attitudes toward sexual history can vary considerably between individuals and social environments. The same number of previous partners may carry very different meanings depending on personal beliefs, cultural norms and expectations surrounding relationships and sexuality.
The findings therefore do not establish a universally acceptable number of previous sexual partners. Instead, they suggest that, within this sample, people generally preferred potential long-term partners with some sexual experience but became progressively less willing to pursue a relationship as the reported number of previous partners grew substantially higher.
