Sharing a similar style of positive humor may quietly improve the chances of forming a romantic connection through online dating, according to new research. A study published in the North American Journal of Psychology found that people who use comparable constructive humor styles were more likely to express interest in dating one another after a brief online conversation. The findings suggest that humor compatibility may be an overlooked factor in successful digital matchmaking.
The study was conducted by researchers from National University in Manila, who investigated how humor influences first impressions in online interactions. They examined whether the way people use humor in everyday life and cope with stress through humor could predict romantic interest after a short text-based conversation. The research, titled “Humor Me: Humor Style Compatibility as a Predictor of Successful Matches in Online Dating,” contributes to a growing body of research exploring how psychological compatibility shapes attraction in digital environments.
Why Humor Matters in Online Dating
Most dating platforms primarily rely on profile photos, age, location, and basic demographic information when suggesting potential matches. Although these factors play an important role, they often overlook interpersonal characteristics that contribute to long-term relationship satisfaction, including communication style, emotional regulation, and humor. Previous psychological research has consistently identified a good sense of humor as one of the qualities people value most in a romantic partner.
Humor has been associated with creativity, emotional resilience, and social intelligence, all of which may contribute to healthier and more satisfying relationships. Playful communication can help couples navigate conflict, manage stress, and strengthen emotional intimacy. The researchers suggest that humor may be especially important in online dating, where conversations often begin long before two people meet in person.
The study was based on Similarity-Attraction Theory, which proposes that people are generally more attracted to those who share similar attitudes, values, and behavioral tendencies. The researchers wanted to determine whether this principle also applies to humor styles. If so, compatibility in humor could become another useful indicator of romantic potential in online dating.
Four Different Humor Styles
Psychologists commonly classify humor into four broad styles using the Humor Styles Questionnaire, a widely used psychological assessment.
Two of these styles are generally considered adaptive because they are associated with healthier relationships and psychological well-being. Affiliative humor focuses on lighthearted jokes, playful conversation, and humor that strengthens social relationships. Self-enhancing humor reflects the ability to maintain a humorous perspective during stressful situations, allowing people to cope with difficulties without putting themselves or others down.
Research has linked both affiliative and self-enhancing humor to greater relationship satisfaction and emotional stability.
The remaining two styles are generally viewed as less adaptive. Aggressive humor includes sarcasm, teasing, ridicule, and jokes made at another person’s expense. Although it may be entertaining in some situations, it can gradually undermine trust and emotional safety. Self-defeating humor involves making oneself the target of jokes or inviting ridicule to gain acceptance or approval.
The researchers wanted to determine whether people who shared adaptive humor styles experienced stronger initial attraction than those whose humor relied more heavily on aggressive or self-defeating patterns.
Studying Online Dating in the Philippines
The project was inspired by the rapid growth of online dating among young adults in the Philippines. Dating platforms such as Bumble, along with chat-based services including Omegle and ChatKool, have become popular places for students to meet potential romantic partners. In these settings, humor often plays an important role in creating engaging conversations and memorable first impressions.
Humor also occupies an important place in Filipino social culture, where playful banter frequently helps ease serious conversations and strengthen social connections. According to the researchers, this cultural context provided an appropriate setting for examining how humor influences attraction during online interactions.
The authors hypothesized that conversations would feel more enjoyable and natural when both participants relied on similar forms of constructive humor, increasing their interest in meeting again.
How the Study Was Conducted
The study included 160 heterosexual university students in the Philippines between the ages of 18 and 25, consisting of 80 men and 80 women. Each participant completed the Humor Styles Questionnaire, allowing researchers to identify their dominant humor style across the four categories.
Based on these results, participants were assigned to one of ten different male-female pairing combinations representing various humor-style matches. Rather than assigning people randomly, the researchers created pairings according to participants’ existing humor profiles, allowing comparisons between similar and contrasting combinations.
Each pair then participated in a 10-minute text-based conversation using Discord, a platform commonly used for online communication. The researchers intentionally focused on text messaging because it closely resembles the early conversations that take place on many dating apps.
After the conversation, participants independently completed a standardized questionnaire measuring their interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with their conversation partner. The researchers then compared dating-interest scores across the different humor-style pairings.
Shared Positive Humor Increased Attraction
The results indicated that compatibility in adaptive humor styles was associated with stronger romantic interest. Pairs in which both participants primarily used affiliative humor reported higher intentions to date each other than many other pairing combinations. Similar findings were observed among participants who both relied on self-enhancing humor.
According to the researchers, shared constructive humor may create conversations that feel more comfortable, engaging, and emotionally rewarding. When both people naturally use inclusive, relationship-building humor or respond to challenges with optimistic humor, the interaction may feel more effortless and enjoyable, increasing perceived compatibility.
By contrast, pairings in which both participants primarily used aggressive humor received the lowest dating-interest scores of all ten groups. Conversations characterized by sarcasm, ridicule, or criticism appeared less likely to foster romantic attraction.
Participants whose dominant humor style was self-defeating also generally reported lower dating interest, although the negative effect was less pronounced than among pairs relying heavily on aggressive humor. The findings suggest that the emotional tone of humor—not simply whether people joke—may influence early romantic attraction.
Limitations and Future Directions
The researchers emphasize that their findings should be interpreted cautiously. The study included only young heterosexual university students from the Philippines, meaning the results may not apply equally to older adults, LGBTQ+ individuals, or people from different cultural backgrounds.
The 10-minute conversations also captured only an initial interaction rather than the development of a long-term relationship. Additional research will be needed to determine whether humor-style compatibility predicts relationship satisfaction, conflict resolution, or long-term stability.
Despite these limitations, the findings may have practical implications for online dating platforms. Current matching systems typically emphasize appearance, location, and shared interests, while psychological characteristics receive relatively little attention. The researchers suggest that future matching algorithms could potentially benefit from incorporating indicators of humor style derived from user profiles or communication patterns.
Overall, the findings support Similarity-Attraction Theory by suggesting that people may be drawn to partners who resemble them in important behavioral tendencies. Shared positive humor appears to foster warmer, more engaging conversations that may increase the likelihood of romantic interest.
The study also highlights that humor is not universally beneficial. Inclusive, supportive humor may strengthen early attraction, whereas persistent sarcasm or self-deprecating humor may gradually reduce it. As online dating continues to evolve, understanding how people laugh together may prove to be just as important as understanding how they present themselves.
