Couples who deliberately pause to appreciate the good moments they share tend to be happier together, argue less, and feel more confident that their relationship will last, according to researchers at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
“Savoring involves slowing down to become aware of and focus on positive experiences,” said first author Noah Larsen, a graduate student at the university. He noted that savoring can take different forms: remembering a meaningful moment from the past, focusing on what is happening right now, or looking forward to something enjoyable in the future.
While earlier research has shown that savoring can benefit individuals, Larsen and his colleagues—human development and family studies professors Allen W. Barton and Brian G. Ogolsky—examined what happens when couples do it together as a shared habit.
How the study examined “joint savoring”
The study surveyed 589 adults from across the United States in an online questionnaire. Participants reported how often they and their partners intentionally noticed, talked about, or otherwise appreciated positive experiences in their relationship. Researchers assessed this using a measure called Joint Savoring in Romantic Relationships, adapted from the Savoring Beliefs Inventory, a well-known tool used to evaluate how people focus on and extend positive experiences.
Participants also answered questions about relationship satisfaction, the level of conflict they experienced during communication, and how confident they felt about the future of their relationship.
Stress was included as well. Respondents reported how often they had felt, during the previous month in control of their responsibilities or, conversely, overwhelmed by what they had to manage. They also rated their overall quality of life, general health, and psychological distress.
Participant characteristics
Among respondents, more than 85% were married, about 10% were engaged, and roughly 4% were in committed dating relationships. Their partners did not take part in the survey. The average participant was around 39 years old. Slightly more than half were women, more than 85% were white, and the typical household income fell between $85,000 and $95,000.
In general, participants reported relatively high levels of both individual savoring and joint savoring, along with comparatively low stress.
Why it may matter most during stressful times
According to Larsen, joint savoring showed the strongest relationship benefits, with additional positive links to personal well-being. Participants who reported more joint savoring also reported less conflict with their partner, greater relationship satisfaction, and more confidence that their relationship would endure.
The pattern was particularly evident for people experiencing higher stress. The researchers found that joint savoring appeared to act as a buffer, helping protect both relationship confidence and mental health when pressure increased.
“Being able to identify factors that provide this type of buffering effect is important for marriage and romantic relationships,” Barton said, adding that it gives couples practical actions they can take to support their bond even during difficult periods.
A small weekly habit with a big payoff
Larsen emphasized that couples do not need to make major lifestyle changes to benefit. Even setting aside time once a week to slow down, be present, and talk about positive experiences can help. That could mean reminiscing about an early memory in the relationship, enjoying a meal together, or discussing an upcoming event both partners are excited about.
He added that during stressful periods, making time for these kinds of positive conversations may be particularly important.
